Final Fantasy 7 Stupidity Remix
by Vinsontran23
Summary: When you have everyone in Final Fantasy 7 take a dive off the deep end, you end up with this. This chapter, Cloud has to wear the dress to get into Don's mansion. If so, why is he off singing Butterfly in a karaoke bar?
1. How it All Started

Final Fantasy 7 – Stupidity Remix

Chapter 1 – How It All Started

Location: Train

Barret: And that's the game plan! (_smash table_) Anyone who screws up doesn't get paid. Got it? That means you rookie! Hey, where's the spiky haired blonde go?

Wedge: Beats me.

Biggs: Wait, I hear something.

SLAM! Cloud kicks door open, runs in and into another boxcar.

Guard: Thief! (_chases after him_)

Barret: Well he seems busy.

Jesse: We're about to stop. Let's get ready to jump.

After the team jumped off the train, they meet at the gate in front of the reactor. Cloud approaches them from behind.

Biggs: Hmm, so you're the new guy from SOLDIER. That must be some accomplishment.

Jesse: Aren't they the enemy?

Biggs: Hold on. He's an Ex-SOLDIER. He quit because he was underpaid, overwork, and lazy. So, what's your name?

Cloud: (…) Cloud.

Biggs: Well Cloud, I'm…

Cloud: Biggs. I've seen the wanted posters around town. And I also stole your wallet with your I.D. in it. Oh, here you go.

Biggs: Why I should…

Barret: Hey, get that gate open! I don't have all day!

Jesse: I'm trying. Using a fork to picklock a gate is harder than it looks.

Cloud: Wait. I know. Let's hop the gate. I'll go first. (_jumps over, some dogs bark_) Oh man. Good doggy. Nice doggy. Stay. Stay. (_miscellaneous ripping noises_) Oh god, oh god, the terror, the pain! Help me!

Jesse: (…) Here! The gate's open.

The gate opens, revealing several dogs chewing on Cloud's body. After the party comes closer, the dogs run away, and Cloud is getting up after using several potions on himself.

Cloud: Alright, let's go.

Jesse, Cloud, Biggs, and Barret head into the reactor.

Barret: Hey rookie, first time in a reactor?

Cloud: No.

Jesse opens the first door. Graffiti is sprayed on the wall. (_Cloud was here!_)

Barret: I guess not.

They go along until they reach the reactor.

Barret: Alright. Plant the bomb.

Cloud: Bomb? What bomb?

Barret: Fine, out of the way.

Barret places an invisible bomb at the reactor.

Barret: See? That wasn't so hard. (_siren goes off_) What's that?

Cloud: The alarm. Watch out, it's the Guard Scorpion!

The Guard Scorpion approaches them.

Barret: Alright, let's do this.

The Guard Scorpion uses "Search Scope" which makes the entire area a funky disco studio.

Cloud: You know what? Let's just run. (_leaves_)

Barret: (…) Wait for me!

On the way back, Cloud sees Jesse with her foot stuck in a hole.

Cloud: You ok?

Jesse: No. Now help me get my foot out of this hole.

Cloud: (_pulls out sword_) Alright. Hold still.

Jesse: Actually, you know what? I'll handle it. Just go on.

Barret: You sure?

Jesse: Yea. I am going to leave here, with all my body parts attached.

Cloud: (_sheaths sword_) Your loss.

Barret: Hurry. The Guard Scorpion is catching up.

Cloud and Barret run, to the point where they meet Biggs.

Biggs: The door's locked. Where's Jesse?

Distant Voice: Help!

Biggs: Jesse!

They run in, seeing that Jesse is in the Guard Scorpion's claws.

Cloud: We have to get her free.

Barret: Take this!

Barret begins shooting at Guard Scorpion, occasionally hitting Jesse. Guard Scorpion flinches, releasing Jesse who has been shot many, many, times.

Cloud: Quick, let's put in the code and split.

Jesse put in the code, and everyone left.

Guard Scorpion: (mechanical voice) I just wanted to be friends.

At that moment, the entire reactor exploded. The team hid in shelter from the blast.

Jesse: (…) (…) (…) Alright, step back. (…) (…) (…) Where's the after explosion? Wedge, go check.

Wedge walked toward the bridge, only to be blown up by the after explosion, sending him off into the sky with a sparkle.

Wedge: I'm blasting off again! I mean for the first time.

Barret: Whoa, that's hot. Anyway, mission complete. Rendezvous at the bar.

Cloud: Wait!

Barret: If it's about your money, you can blow it out of your cakehole. I mean I'll get it later.

Cloud: Alright, later! Now, how am I going to get to the hideout?

Flower Girl: Excuse me, will you buy a flower?

Cloud: Sure, I'll take one. How much?

Flower Girl: One flower for ten million gil. Would that be cash or check?

Cloud: Uh…oh look over there! (_runs off_)

Flower Girl: I don't see anything. Except for that truck headed towards me.

Cloud: Now how am I suppose to get to the hideout?

Soldier: Hey you!

Cloud: Oh crap. They must have found out that I'm secretly selling crack to poor orphan immigrants. Better run.

Soldier: Surround him.

Cloud: Ok, let's see, this way, blocked, this way, blocked, this way, blocked. That's not good.

Soldier: Give yourself up.

Cloud: Never!

Cloud jumps from the road onto the train track. However, jumping several minutes early, Cloud falls flat onto the track rails.

Soldiers: Err, what do we do now?

Cloud: (_distant voice_) So long suckers!

Soldier: Quick, follow him!

The soldiers jump down only to get run over by the train which ironic appears.

Barret: (…)

Jesse: Cloud didn't make it.

Biggs: Ok, so what about our money?

Barret: Well, I have I.O.U.'s in my pocket if u want.

Jesse: (…)

Bang, bang, bang.

Biggs: Damn rats.

Bang, bang, bang.

Jesse: Someone's at the door. Go get it Biggs.

Bang, bang, bang.

Biggs: Fine. (_readies shotgun and opens door, while Cloud jumps in)_

Cloud: Hey. Sorry I'm late.

Jesse: Cloud!

Barret: Yo, rookie! Great to have you back. (Great, one more person to pay)

Biggs: Dude, don't scare us like that. (_puts away shotgun)_

Cloud: Yea. Well, we're just about back to the hideout. Let's just sit back, relax, and…

Guard: Hey, it's the thief!

Cloud: Crap! (_runs_)

Barret: Well he's having fun.

To be continued…

Wedge: Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

* * *

**If you enjoyed this story, check out my other humorous stories. ...Ok FINE. I double-checked. Jesse's a girl.**


	2. PayDay

Final Fantasy 7 – Stupidity Remix

Chapter 2 – Payday

The party's arrived at Sector 7. The team goes into 7th Heaven, and kil…I mean kicks everyone out.

Biggs: Give me a Bloody Mary!

Jesse: Get me 44 shots of mountain dew. I'm going for the record!

Barret: I'll go find Wedge. He's probably burning in hell right now.

Cloud: Hmm. I'll just play pinball. (_starts playing, but activates the elevator. After Cloud reaches the room below…DING!_) TILT!? NO! RIGGED! (_slams_)

Cloud continued to play for several minutes, going up and down the pinball machine-elevator yelling, RIGGED, at the top of his lungs. When he finally gave up, he looked around at what his team mates were doing.

Biggs: Oh god, my nose's bleeding. Hey, Tifa, don't stop, I can keep going.

Jesse: (_random gibberish from drinking too much mountain dew_)

Barret: It's official. Wedge's dead. Or lost. Or dead and lost. (_pulls out paper and titles it "Wedge's Will.")_

Cloud sighed and walked up to the counter. His childhood friend, Tifa, was at the bar.

Tifa: Cloud, you look tired. Why don't you get some sleep?

Cloud: Yeah, I should.

That night…

Barret: (_heavy, heavy, freaking heavy snoring_)

Cloud: (_opens red, red, eyes_)

SLASH!

Barret stops snoring.

Cloud: (_sigh, zzZ_)

Barret: (_heavier snoring_)

That morning…

Tifa: Hey Cloud, did you sleep well?

Cloud is sagging, eyes are completely red, and his hair is messed up.

Cloud: Yes. Yes I did.

Barret: (_yawn_) Well I couldn't sleep. Anyway, let's hurry and bomb Sector 5. I heard that the security there is horrible!

Biggs: Jesse and I will be looking for Wedge. The will on the counter doesn't seem right…

Barret whistles.

Cloud: Hey, where's my pay?

Barret: Oh. Here's your crappy 1500 gil.

Cloud: Thanks. Now let's go around town, the train doesn't leave for an hour.

Over at the tutorial hall…

Kid: Here, pick up this materia.

Cloud: That's easy! (_Gained All materia_)Now what?

Kid: Open this box! (_box drops down on Cloud, squishing him_)

Cloud: (_box opens while he's squished underneath_) Done!

Top floor…

Kid: Hey, give me some gil and I'll let you sleep here.

Cloud: Ok, how about 1 gil?

Kid: More.

Cloud: 5 gil?

Kid: More.

Cloud: 10 gil.

Kid: I'm not going less than 10,000 gil.

Cloud: (_…_) Tell you what, give me 1 gil, and I won't beat you up.

Kid: Deal! Ha, sucker! I would have gone to 2 gil! (_leaves_)

Cloud: (…)

Train…

Biggs: About time you guys came.

Barret: I'll come and go when and how I want. (looks around) ANYONE HAVE A #$!ING PROBLEM WITH THAT!? Good.

Jesse: Hey Cloud, come over here.

Cloud: Yea?

Jesse: Help me find the remote for this TV. This channel sucks.

SIREN!

Cloud: What's up?

Jesse: They're doing an I.Q. check of everyone on the train.

Cloud: Don't you mean I.D. check?

Jesse: No, I.Q. This prevents hobos with no jobs from coming onboard.

Hobo: Let me go!

Guard: Get out of here. This is the first of the month and rent is due.

Hobo: I'll get it soon!

Guard: Just go before we force you out.

Hobo: Fine. (_walks out into train tracks while train is in motion_)

Guard: (…) Hey, you're that thief!

Cloud: Uh-oh. (_leaves_)

Barret & Tifa: Cloud! (_runs after him_)

5 boxcars later…

Cloud: Not good. This is the final car.

Barret: We have to jump, the guards are almost here.

Stranger: Psst, over here.

Cloud: (…?) Biggs? Jesse?

Jesse: What do you think of our disguise? Pretty good huh?

Cloud: Yea, don't get caught. (_By the way, I was this close to pulling out my sword and cutting your head off for catching me off guard_)

Tifa: I'll go first! (_jumps_)

Cloud: Barret, you go.

Barret: No way, the leader always stays behind and steals everything he could take. Now go!

Cloud: (_jumps_)

Barret: Alright. Biggs, Jesse, help shove me through this small door.

Sometime later…

Cloud: Ok, looks like we have to walk.

Barret: (…?) Lasers?

Cloud: Why are there lasers in the train tracks?

Tifa: Jesse said these lasers are what scan for the I.Q. Test. However, the train is lead-filled, so it protects us from the ultra-green radiation.

Cloud: Let's walk through.

Barret: No can do. Laser phobic.

Tifa: Hey, there's a hole here. Let's go through.

Barret: I don't think I can fit through.

Cloud: (…) Fire in the hole! (_throws grenade down hole, causing it to spew rocks out and widen the hole_) Let's go.

They climbed down and traveled through the maze.

Biggs: Hey guys.

Cloud: How did you get here?

Biggs: Gameshark! (pulls out small memory card)

Cloud: Quick, make us level 99.

Biggs: Don't know that cheat. All I know is how to teleport people. Off to the reactor!

Boing

Tifa: Ok, akward. Oh, here's the reactor. Plant the bomb.

Cloud: UGH! (faint)

Tifa: Cloud! Cloud! (…) I'll get a shovel.

Cloud: Huh?

Tifa: Yay! I guess I won't need this shovel no more.

Barret: Bomb has been planted.

Cloud: Let's go.

Later…

Cloud: The door's locked, and the control panel over there controls it.

Barret: Let's put in the code.

Cloud: Screw that, let's jump the gate. (_jumps over and many shocking sounds can be heard_)

The gate opens and when the party comes in, Cloud is crispy burnt. Cloud gets up after using a hi-potion.

Cloud: No more jumping over gates.

They ran along the path until they came along a two bridges connected together, much like a T. A helicopter flew down toward them.

Person: Hello.

Cloud: Who are you?

Person: I'm the president of Shinra. Now, why are you here to blow up my reactor?

Barret: Your machine is draining up the life of the planet!

President: Well, I don't know about that. But I must be going to my fancy dinner. I'll leave you a goodbye present before I go though. (_snap fingers_)

Everyone: (…)

President: (…?) Is the remote control out of batteries again? Quick, put some new ones in. Done? Ok, let's try that again. (_snap fingers_)

A mechanical machine comes in and the helicopter flies down below the bridges.

Cloud: Looks like we have to fight.

Tifa: Hey, all I have to do is remove the antenna and…

Tifa kicked an antenna off of the machine. The machine exploded, and the bridge shook, sending Cloud into the valley below.

Tifa: Cloud! No!

Barret: Cloud!

To be continued…

Flower Girl: I wish I had a boyfriend.

Cloud crashes into the building she was in.

Flower Girl: Wow! Wishes do come true!

* * *

**Another great chapter. Please review, for reviews make the world go crazy.**


	3. Blessings

**Events occured in this story has been taken out of the game. The only fictional part is Square Enix being low on cash. Tsh. Probably should spend their money on getting a better name.**

* * *

Final Fantasy 7 - Stupidity Remix

Chapter 3 – Blessings

Wake up…

Realize your power…

Unleash it on the world around you…

And awaken from your slumber…

Cloud: Screw this, I'm going back to sleep.

(_slap_) WAKE UP!

Cloud wakes from his sleep to find himself in a church. The church itself seemed to be in ruins, and there is a giant hole in the ceiling. There is a girl who is standing by him.

Cloud: Ow, my face.

Flower Girl: Oh good, you're still alive.

Cloud: Where am I?

Flower Girl: You're in Sector 5 slums.

Cloud: Ugh. (_tries stands up but falls back down_) Ow, my body hurts so much. (_…_) I landed on the floor. Would have been better if I landed in that pile of flowers.

Flower Girl: Yes. It would have. But you didn't. (_runs off_)

Cloud: (_uses several potions_) What's your name? (_stands up_)

Flower Girl: Aeris. What about you?

Cloud: My name…is…

Aeris: Yes?

Cloud: I forgot.

Aeris: What! Hmm, case of amnesia. Sure looks cute. Will you be my boyfr…I mean bodyguard?

Cloud: Whatever.

Aeris: Great! Now let's go to my house and…uh…

Cloud: (?)

Tuxedo Man: Hey. You.

Cloud: Who's that?

Aeris: A stalker.

Cloud: Oh. Wait…Reno…

Reno: Seems like you know me, but I don't think I know you. Let's get acquainted. (_snap fingers_)

Three guards step behind the Tuxedo Man.

Aeris: Quick, this way.

Cloud: Fine. (_both run off)_

Reno: Hmm, follow them.

The group runs off into the back of the church. Reno, however, comes back and starts stomping on the flowers.

Reno: Take this, and this, and some of this, and these. (_stops_) Man that feels good. (_runs back_)

The back of the church was so bright, light beaming through the holes in the ceiling.

Aeris: Keep moving, we don't want them to catch up.

Reno: There they are! Fire!

Cloud: Aeris, shield me! (_shoves Aeris in front of him_)

Aeris: Ah! I've been hit. (_falls down steps_)

Cloud: Aeris! Come back! You can't leave me like this! I'm wide open now!

Reno: Good job boys. Now go capture her and put her into the cage.

Cloud: Aeris! Hold on! I'll go get the police. Just stay there and wait for me.

Aeris: Do something!

Cloud: Ugh, fine. (_looks up_) Hold on, I have to get to the barrels.

Donkey Kong: Ugh. Ugh.

Cloud: Out of my way you ape. Ok, I'll shove this barrel over…

Cloud shoved the barrel over, and it knocked all the guards over.

Aeris: Thanks bodyguard. Let's hurry and get out of here. (_both leave_)

Reno: Oh great. What am I suppose to do now? I guess I'll go walk home now. Again.

The twosome got down from the church and took a break to rest.

Cloud: So, who was that?

Aeris: Stalker. He's been following me for a while. Captured and released me several times.

Cloud: Well, let's get going.

Aeris: Follow me.

They went through the destroyed structures of the city. Finally, they came into view of a two story house.

Cloud: Whoa.

Aeris: Yeah. (_opens the door_) Mom, I'm home!

Lady: Get a job!

Aeris: Well…we have free time on our hands. Hey, how about tomorrow we head to Wall Market?

Cloud: Works for me.

Aeris: I'll go ready the beds. (_goes upstairs_)

Lady: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Cloud: Sure.

Lady: Aeris is a spoiled girl who needs to get a job. Go on without her, and let me handle it.

Aeris: Bodyguard, come get some sleep!

Lady: Go have some rest first.

Cloud: Will do.

That night…

Cloud: I should leave.

Cloud left the house and continued to the path to Wall Market. However…

Cloud: Uh-oh…

Aeris: Caught you!

Cloud: How you get here without passing me?

Aeris: I took the shortcut over there.

Cloud: Man. This wasn't realized in the game! I had to fight all those monsters!

Aeris took a DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHH!

Aeris: (_quickly_) Well, that's because the people of SquareEnix declared that people are too low level when they reach the bosses, so they added that in, forcing you to fight about 10 enemies before you are able to proceed along the game, which decreases the matter of difficulty of the next bosses which has powerful spells, attacks, summons, and defense, but at this point of the game, the team is pretty much confined to level in an area which thieves rob you of all your items, decreasing the amount of fun involved with this game, decreasing the production value and thus decreasing how much budget they have. (_regularly_) Let's keep on going.

Finally, they have arrived at a playground.

Aeris: Let's play on the swings.

Cloud: Yea, let's go.

Aeris: (…) You know, I had a boyfriend before you.

Cloud gets up and walks.

Aeris: He was very sweet, much kind, and pretty cute. He had the strength of 10 men, and could protect me forever. Sigh, man, I miss him.

Cloud: (_crowded up at the corner of playground_) You sure do…

Aeris: I really do feel bad for him, he died in war.

Cloud: (r_uns toward Aeris and sits down next to her_) Works for me. (…) UGH!

Remember…who you are…do not forget…your purpose…

Cloud: Must…kill…everyone…

However, up ahead, a giant wall opened up. A chocobo carriage came out, and Tifa was riding in the back of it.

Tifa: Cloud!

Cloud: (…) Tifa!

Aeris: Cloud? That name sucks!

Cloud: No time. Aeris, we have to go to Wall Market and go find out what Tifa's doing.

Aeris: Oh, ok.

They ran into a city, fancier than your town, but less fancy than Las Vegas.

Cloud: We should get information about where she is.

They walked through the town. The places include a dress shop, a bar, a gun shop, a materia shop, a gym, a mansion, a motel, several other areas, and some place called the Honey Bee Inn. Cloud went there sometime early in life.

Speaking of which, at the Honey Bee Inn…

Cloud: Hey, have you heard a girl named Tifa?

Red Spiky Hair Guy: (_sobs_)

Man: Yes, I believe she's one of the girls being picked at Don's mansion.

Cloud: Really? Wait, what you mean picked?

Man: Well, every once in a while, Don, the landlord, will call in three girls. And one of the girls will spend the night at his mansion.

Aeris: Thanks.

Cloud: Off to the mansion.

To the mansion!

Guard: No can do, can only let girls in. Hey, you're a cute one. I suppose you can enter.

Aeris: Thank you, but no.

Cloud: Well there has to be someone we can do!

Aeris walks away and begins chuckling.

Guard: Sorry, unless you were to assault the mansion, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do.

Cloud: (_pulls out sword_) Assault it is!

Aeris: Wait. Listen, I'm going to bring a friend along ok?

Cloud puts his sword away, but keeps his hand on it.

Guard: Sounds good. Go get her.

Cloud and Aeris leaves.

Aeris: Listen, the plan is…dress you up…as a girl.

To be continued…

Cloud: That's easy, I'm a cross dresser!

Aeris: Say what?

Cloud: Uh, nothing.

* * *

**Tuxedo Man sounds funny. Oh, and review. It's easier to spend 1 minute of your life giving me a review to give me motivation than for you to wait weeks for me to update.**


	4. Double or Something

Final Fantasy 7 - Stupidity Remix

Chapter 4 – Double or Something

Cloud: So, I need a dress. I think there was a dress shop near the entrance.

At the dress shop…

Woman: I'm sorry, but the owner of the store went off to get drunk because this store's going bankrupt and wishes to drown in his misery. Shame shame.

Cloud: Well, could we buy some clothes?

Woman: I'm sorry, but we don't actually sell clothes here. We're a black market undercover trying to sell crack and pot to illegally shipped immigrants, but the owner can make you clothes. Why he sells crack and not clothes I don't know.

Cloud: Hehehe.

Aeris: Well thank you, we'll be on our way.

Outside the bar…

Aeris: (looks in) Ok, he's right in there. Let's go…

Cloud: No, let me handle him. I know what to do. (heads in alone)

5 minutes later…

Aeris: (…) What could he be doing in there?

Inside…

Cloud is at the karaoke machine singing "Butterfly" with the dress shop owner.

Cloud: Making colors in the sky! Woo!

Cheers erupted around the room.

Dress Shop Owner: Whoa, that was awesome.

Cloud: Yea, you should try that back at my home town. Anyways, can you do me a favor?

Dress Shop Owner: Sure.

Cloud: Um, I'm going to this Halloween Party, and my mom is the scariest thing I can think of, would you make me a dress?

Dress Shop Owner: Well, this is interesting. How would you like the dress?

Cloud: Well, long as it doesn't make my butt look big, I'm fine with anything.

Dress Shop Owner: Heh, alright. I'll get to work on it.

Cloud: Thanks.

Aeris: So, how did it go?

Cloud: Yea, he'll do it.

Aeris: Great! Now we have some time before he finishes. And there is a bar…

Back in the bar…

Aeris and Cloud: Making colors in the sky! Woo!

Some time very later…

Dress Shop Owner: It's done. Come to the shop and we'll get you suited up.

At the clothes shop…

Cloud: This dress isn't half bad.

Dress Shop Owner: Heh, try it on. There's a dressing room over there.

Slam!

Dress Shop Owner: (…) Ok, now switching to camera 2…

On the screen, Cloud is jumping around trying to get it on.

Cloud: How, does, this, fit!

Aeris: (_knocking_) Do you need help?

Cloud: No! I'm fine! (_rip_)

Aeris: Doesn't sound fine.

Cloud: It's all under control, you can leave!

Dress Shop Owner: This is boring, what's on channel 11?

BOOM!

Cloud: I told you that I had it under control!

Aeris: Wait, the dress is on wrong. Here. Wait. There's something wrong. You need a wig. Your hair is too spiky and will draw attention. Take off the dress.

Cloud: Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. SCREW THIS!

SLASHSLASHRIPSLASHRIPRIPRIP

Cloud: Done.

They go out to the front of the cashier.

Where can I get a new dress and perhaps a wig?

Dress Shop Owner: Consider it lucky I made a back-up one. A wig, I suppose one of the afro men at the gym has it.

Cloud: Off to the gym!

At the gym…

Aeris: Yes, I'd like a wig please.

Gym Leader: Alright. I guess you seem alright.

Three big strong men jump from their spots and begin flexing.

Strong Guy #1: Why are you giving it to her but not to us?

Strong Guy #2: Come on!

Gym Leader: It's because you guys are low-leveled strength potion drinking hobos! Now burn off those extra stat points before I start charging you guys double for using the gym.

Strong Guy #3: I bet I could beat that guy in a battle. (_points at Cloud_)

Gym Leader: Fine. The match between Cloud and Bruno will be held in that arena.

Cloud: What!?

5 minutes later…

Gym Leader: Alright, what you need to do is mash the O button to gain power. First one to gain all their power will win, by knocking out the other person.

Cloud: Heh, sounds easy. (_pulls out controller and rubber band_)

Gym Leader: The match between Cloud of Midgar and Bruno of Wall Market will now commence. Go!

Cloud gains all his power and knocks out Bruno in quick second.

Gym Leader: The match goes to Cloud of Midgar!

Cloud: Yeah!

Gym Leader: Here's your wig. Now, all of you, back to training.

Strong Guys: Sir!

Aeris: Good job. Cheater.

Cloud: No point in me getting a sore thumb.

Aeris: Yea but you won't be able to cheat through the mansion part.

Cloud: (_looks at paper titled "Walkthrough, GameFaq's"_) Oh really…we'll see about that.

Aeris: (_takes it_) Give me that. Let's see…Sephiroth…Gold Saucer…how to get Omnislash? Oh that's it, I'm burning this thing.

To be continued…

Gym Leader: Ugh, what am I, Brock from Pokemon? This is stupid, I want a name change.

* * *

**Copyright to Pokemon, Gamefaqs, Final Fantasy 7, and the infamous rubber band controller combo!**


End file.
